Childish Concepts

Once I read one of the many stories of Akbar-Birbal. In the story Akbar asked, “Which is the fastest thing in the universe?”. Everyone was giving different answers and a few said sound is the fastest. some said light is faster than sound. But Birbal said that Light is not the fastest thing in the world. The fastest thing is “M-a-n”(Hindi). At one moment it would be on the earth and the next moment it could be at the sun or anywhere in the Universe.
Like this My mind(M-a-n) was also fast when I was a kid. At that time I used to spend(waste) hours in thinking about all the things in the world. I lost so many nights because of it. So here I am recalling my thoughts which were all wrong and weird.

Bombay :-
Once I went to Mumbai when I was 10. I saw so many advertisement hoardings. I knew them and their working. I knew that companies put their ads on it and owner gets money for it. But I was wondering that who is this stupid giving ads of numbers like 022 – 4569874 or 9874563210. I was making fun of the person for so many months in my thoughts. But at that time I was too young to discuss this topic with others. But Why The ads? I spent many sleepless nights to get answers for it .

Clouds :-
My father had a scooter. So whenever we went somewhere I used to stand Between the driver seat and the Scooter handle since I am the youngest person. While I was at it I passed my time watching other vehicles, specially their numbers. But what strange thought came to my mind was that there are so many vehicles in the city so there would be large quantity of smoke with the same color. So I thought there should be more clouds generated continuously. Then there must be more rains in the city. But it never happens in our city. I put a lot of effort to find out the answer. I knew how the clouds are generated from sea water, but I was not able to differentiate between the Cloud and the smoke coming from vehicles.

Rain Shower:-
My family lives in a small house. There is a hole in the roof at the center of the house for light. But In rainy season water used to come from it. So we put an Iron sheet. We made the Sheet from a drum by removing top and bottom cover and cutting it vertically. The sheet was in rectangle shape. I used to think that if I fill water on the roof and make some holes in the sheet than there will be a rain type scenario in our house. So I tried thinking of the dimension of the sheet used by God to make real rain

Non-Existence of Earth:-
I used to think that what would have happened to us if Earth doesn’t exist. There were two kind of thoughts came to my mind.
1. When I didn’t know that earth is a planet, Earth is spherical, There is an atmosphere around the earth. I used to think that earth is nothing but ground on which we are standing. So for me non-existence of earth means non-existence of plane ground to stand on. I had seen the big valleys on discovery channel. So I used to imagine life like we are living on the slope of those valleys the only difference was their slope was endless and we are walking down and down and down.
2. When I knew that earth is a planet, Earth is spherical, There is an atmosphere around the earth. At That time I knew the real earth so I thought non- existence of earth means We all are falling in sky throughout our Life. I used to be scared of thing that If I leave my mother’s hand then I will lost her.

These are some concepts which were created and destroyed by me. There are few more about which I will write later.

<--- Manish Jain --->

I, He and She

Location :- Somewhere in Pune, India
Day :- Some day in June 2009

After the explosion in our company during mid June everyone was in different kind of thoughts. We were not talking to each other much but still we were talking wherever it was essential... Actually the fun part was missing from our chats. Same was happening with I, He and She.

The only thing which was worrying He and She is that both were in opposite side of stream.

That day both He and She were little more depressed and I came to know that She is leaving on very next day. I went outside for some work.

When I was coming back I saw that He and She had come to garden in our society. They asked me to come to some restaurant for dinner.
‘Ok’ – I replied without hesitation.
Then we started walking towards the restaurant. I thought why I am going with them. ‘To disturb them’ – I answered myself. And the answer was pitching me badly. After few minutes of walking we reached to some restaurant.

We sat there but we were not speaking a single word. She was playing with He’s phone. He was thinking something with closed eyes. I was completely clueless what to do. The background music was according to situation (Songs Of Hindi Movie – “Akele Hum Akele Tum”). He and She had very little hope that they will meet again in the same company. I was never in this kind situation before. I was thinking why I came with them. They may have wanted to talk to each other. I started abusing myself in my mind only.

Somehow we had dinner, Came back to home and very next day morning I went to Office. He went to Railway Station to Drop Her.

<--- Manish Jain --->

Birthday after Death !!

Year 2009 - Birthday on July 20 and Death on July 12

So today is 8th day after death and my birthday. Two different occasions, two different feelings, two different directions and two different domains but One thing is common among all and that is Me. Friends want to celebrate but my heart says no. Should I listen to my heart or my friends. Life is becoming very complex for me and I am not a genius who can come over it very easily.

So I switched off my phone to avoid the conflict. I know that this day will not change my life still I am trying to run from the world where people know me to somewhere where I am alone, nobody knows me. I want peace from this crowded life. I want a break from this messed life.

My fault is that I want all these things today when everyone thinks that I am completely free(mentally) to get their wishes. It’s not their fault also. It’s just a game and gamer is not any one from us.

"Pyaar amar hai duniya mein
Pyaar kabhi nahi martaa hai
Maut badan ko aati hai
Rooh ka jalwa rahtaa hai
Janam Janam ka saath hai nibhne ko…… "


< --- Manish Jain --- >

My Birthday Gift

Today I am going to tell you an universal truth about all guys and that is “Every normal guy has a secret dream girl about whom they never speak to anyone. ” This will always be a secret throughout his life and it ends with his death . Believe me, even if the guy is very innocent or decent or rogue this is the fact.

Most of us never tell our feelings to the girl but few are lucky who have enough courage to ask the girl. I am one among the majority of the people.

So the conclusion of these few lines is that there is a possibility of a secret dream girl for me. I’m wondering if this is related to my birthday gift!!!! The girl may be my Birthday Gift or something worse is waiting for me.

I know I am not the lucky person but I believe that I don’t have the worst luck …
But this time I was wrong.

I thought whenever I will go home I will let her know my feelings for her. I had planned to go home on 2nd September. I asked her to meet me at my favorite place FS on 3rd sep’s eve. I was counting days.

But on Sunday morning I got a call from one of our common friend. She said: “Manish, I have a news for you.”
I replied - “What.. You want my address to send My birthday Gift?.”
She didn’t speak a word for next two minutes and then said :- “Manish, She Died .“
I was not prepared for this news, I disconnected the call and thought…..
“Tujhse Naraz Nahi Zindagi .. Hairaan hoo main ”

I asked myself: “Is this my Birthday Gift ?”

One Year of Life

One year at Satyam ….

Was it good or bad ?
Should I celebrate it or not ?
Should I laugh on myself or cry ?

Whatever it was … Today is my destiny. I can only feel the relief of writing these lines from office as many from our batch (People who joined Satyam on same date as fresher) are not able to do that in current condition.
In last one year I went home twice and I changed my residential address 5 times, I lived in Three different cities of three different states of India.

1.Hotel Mahaveer Palace , Secunderabad ( Andhra Pradesh) Duration: 10 Days
2.Aravali 5 , STC , Bahadurpally , Hyderabad (AP) Duration: 30 Days
3.Vindhya 6, , STC , Bahadurpally , Hyderabad (AP) Duration: 3 Months
4.Plot Number XXX, Near IIMB , BannerGatta Road , Bangalore (Karnataka) Duration: 1 Month
5.Mayur Nagri , Sanghvi , Pune (Maharashtra) Duration: 3 Months
6.Vasant Utsav ,Hinzawadi, Pune (Maharashtra): Duration: from last 4 Months

What will you call it ?

In technical point of view:-
I learned too much of technical things. According to VL it is all useless but for me it is as good as college life.
I learned how to copy(Correct) code from one (Correct) place and paste it to other (Correct) place.
I can’t believe that Whatever I implemented in last one year was either taught by NM or nobody ; )
I wrote the first program of more than 50 lines or Second of any kind(First was “Hello World” in First year) in SATYAM IN THE FIRST WEEK OF TRAINING. And now I don’t even check for lines’ count.
I never use cryptography, Networking router, any algorithm for searching/Shortest path/substring …. I believe that MICROSOFT and GOOGLE are taking care of all these things and when I work for Google/Microsoft/Cisco I will recall them.

In non technical point of view:-
I almost failed. I was not able to make new good friends not a single one in last year… But I am in touch with almost all of My College friends. This is possible because of “MNIT-COMPSKI” group. Thanks to Google team.
I didn’t call few of them for the last few months. I want to say sorry to all of them.
I don’t know whether I hate The Company or Love it.
I started writing blog [http://MyLostShadows.blogSpot.com]
I started twittering [http://Twitter.com/jn_jain] and facebook.
I bought a bike[Bajaj XCD 135].

Misc:-
I am still working on my book “2NP763427” but I don’t know when it will be completed.
I met a few people from my college life again except those who were in SATYAM (Anant, Shardole, Shantanu, Anshat, Amaresh, Saajan, Sanjeev, GT , Hemant Jindal, Paretha, Talwar, Nitish, Anand Meena, Pankaj Daandaliya, Poojari)
I still missed the opportunity to meet other peoplebut that was completely intentional except Abhi.
I am still choosy in calling my home.
I stopped doing “Bhasad”.
I travelled few places like Shirdi, Mahabaleshwar, Sinhgarh Fort, Ajanta caves.
I still change my status message frequently in office communicator[again a Microsoft product].

And Finally Situation was that much worse that I wrote my previous Post “Vidayi”.

So after one year I am still a physically alive human being struggling in non-human world but I still have a few moments of Laugh every day.

<---Manish--->
The World is just awesome.